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Philippians 4:6
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

For those of you who do not know, I suffer from anxiety. I'm not disabled by it but it is constantly just under the skin and it hinders me from being "all" that I can and want to be in this world. I know that MOST people suffer from anxiety at some point or other - they worry about finances, they worry about bei ng enough for a loved one, they worry about providing financially - emotionally - physically enough for their spouse - they worry about am I this or am I that. I have those worries but I also worry about worrying... have you ever done that?

I can actually become crippled by this worry when I let it. I worry that my worry can and will affect my daughters ability to be ALL that she can be. I worry that my episodes of fear will instill fear in my daughter SO... I plan, I organize, I make lists and I TELL myself "I CAN" and then I do. People usually don't understand why I plan and organi ze the outings with the girls - a lot of people don't realize that for me it's like stretching and using a muscle - it's painful but feels good after it's done. I really dislike that during many of the outings I do with the girls and Allie Beth I can't "enjoy" the experince more. I am so caught up in; are the girls behaving, making sure everyone is accounted for, making sure everyone is having a good time that I get lost in the worry and don't revel in the experinence. I take a LOT of pictures and one of the reasons why is so that I can "go back" look - think about and explore my experinces. I know it's probably not the best way to "live life" but hey I'm trying right? I don't let my fear or anxiety limit me I treat it like a sore muscle that needs to be used/stretched and cared for. I push past my anxiety and DO as much as I can with my daughter because I know that today's life experiences will shape her into who SHE is going to be later in life. I can only hope and pray that it's a life filled with hope/joy/lov e/acceptance/without fear and so much more. Today we ALL six of us went out and had cupcakes - it was such a little thing but for me a BIG step in the right direction.

So if you ever see me with my signature Zebra Momagenda planner - or a constant checklist in hand just smile and know I'm trying and that is all any of us can do right?