Sunday, March 20, 2011


Lately I have been reading the book "I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids" by Ashworth & Noble. 

The book is about two moms on a mission to solve the mystery of balance and expectations that mothers have and feel they need to live up to.  IE:  The mother who buys the store bought cupcakes versus the one who slaves in the kitchen to make the fifty cupcakes for the school bake sale or the mother who is zen and is put together versus the other mom who is screaming at her kids to stop running in the house, or to clean up their mess or to just please not make a mess. 

This book resonates with me on a lot of levels.  I read the book and feel myself calming because it quotes mothers who state their feeling of not measuring up or having un-realistic expcetation of themselves or others or who seem lost or unable to figure out how to balance or even what balance is. 

That is me!  In January I made the New Years resolution to find balance in my life.  It is less than four months later and I don't even have a working definition of what balance is.  I seem to be on this teeter totter balance "contraption" where either I do way too much or not enough in this crazy place called my life.  I have been the mother who made the fifty cupcakes for my daughters birthday party and I have also been the screeching banshee standing in the living room screaming at my four year old to stop screaming.  (Sort of ironic huh?)

I have come to my own conclusion that there truly is not real definition of balance in this world.  There are conceivable notions of limits and there are realistic expectations in our culture but balance is a state of mind.  I am here to share with you that I in fact do not have balance in my life.  I also have to admit that most of the time though I desire balance I don't consistently strive for it.  Why?  Probably because the striving takes both time and energy that most days I simply do not have.

So in the morning when I get up I will resolve to do my morning yoga - eat a healthy(er) breakfast - put up the laundry that is piled up on the couch from last week - and be the best mother/wife/friend/daughter that I can possibly be.  Will I be a balanced mother this week?  Some moments I will be and most moments I won't and that my friends is o.k. for me right now.  I have come to the conclusion that balance is a journey that I probably won't ever reach but it isn't the destination that is so important but the journey along the way. 


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