Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Today I was thinking about friendships and how I wish I had a "good" friend that I spent time with outside of my family. Someone that got me, who I could talk to on a regular basis, someone who didn't judge and then I thought "no, Aimee - what you are describing is a therapist". I got a good laugh at my own expense but it was a laugh.
Our world isn't perfect so therefore our lives aren't perfect and I get that. I cognitively get the fact that our lives are only ours to a certain extent but there is a small part of me that wants to rebel. I want to believe in happily ever after, I want there to be perfect days and perfect nights, I want there to be a definite cure for cancer, and babies to not die and mothers/fathers to be their best all the time but life doesn't work that way.
So I guess all we can do is what we can do with what we have and make the best of it. Why is it as I write those words I feel like I'm settling for something less than? I want more and I'm not sure what I want more of. Tonight my soul is restless and my heart is heavy. Tonight I would love to have that friend that I have all too often envisioned to come over and share a glass of wine with me and us talk about nothing or something. I know I have a husband I can and do talk to but right now my hearts desire is a kindred "other" to share with...