Tuesday, March 15, 2011

73-74/365

I haven't been writing each day as I set out to do with this 365 day blogging project.  I have been trying to write as much as I can though to be honest I don't have a lot to say right now. 

Today I was thinking about friendships and how I wish I had a "good" friend that I spent time with outside of my family.  Someone that got me, who I could talk to on a regular basis, someone who didn't judge and then I thought "no, Aimee - what you are describing is a therapist".  I got a good laugh at my own expense but it was a laugh. 

Our world isn't perfect so therefore our lives aren't perfect and I get that.  I cognitively get the fact that our lives are only ours to a certain extent but there is a small part of me that wants to rebel.  I want to believe in happily ever after,  I want there to be perfect days and perfect nights, I want there to be a definite cure for cancer, and babies to not die and mothers/fathers to be their best all the time but life doesn't work that way.

So I guess all we can do is what we can do with what we have and make the best of it.  Why is it as I write those words I feel like I'm settling for something less than? I want more and I'm not sure what I want more of.  Tonight my soul is restless and my heart is heavy.  Tonight I would love to have that friend that I have all too often envisioned to come over and share a glass of wine with me and us talk about nothing or something.  I know I have a husband I can and do talk to but right now my hearts desire is a kindred "other" to share with...

1 comment:

samfran08x3 said...

After May 18th I can be that friend :) and for sure when I turn 21 on June 15th we can drink wine in public lol.

I love you Aimee :) I think you and I have the same heavy heart. I use to have that/those friends who I could talk to about everything.I love Zach and he's my best friend but its not the same. I need a girl friend who laughs with me and I can go to when he drives me crazy. I use to have those people...They've all just walked out on me. Because everyone but Zach (and family) has walked out on me I find it very hard to trust anymore or to even get too close to anyone. Zach said its because I keep growing up and they're stuck in high school/freshmen year.

Soon Soon Soon!! We will HAVE to hang out! I miss you :) You can text or call me anytime love if you need anything.